Strategic Serendipity Leadership

Change the Outcome

2012-01-24T21:27:00.000-05:00

I attended an amazing training session with The Coaches Institute this weekend...more on that to follow over the next year. In the meantime, I want to share with you one of the things that occurred to me. We all have patterns in our life. Some of them are good and some of them are not. For example, for me, it always seems that just when I've found an area in which I can contribute quietly and effectively (because no one else cares about it) there is that person who suddenly cares just as much and beats me out for the job. I'm not proud to admit that for a couple of years, I wondered why I should bother caring about anything because this will always be the outcome. This weekend I remembered why I should care. Because caring is so much more fun than not caring. I also thought a lot about how to handle that person the next time they showed up in my life to take something I care so much about. Then it finally occurred to me. If I want a different result, I need to do something different to achieve my desired result. After all, Albert Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. And you might be wondering what it is that I'm going to do differently? Well, thanks to a wonderful weekend of insight through coaching by the best group classmates I've ever had...I realized that I have a tendency to undermine myself by floating ideas rather than proposing them. It may sound like word-play, but it is more than just the words. It is the attitude with which an idea is floated until it finds a champion or actually championing the idea from the beginning. It means putting my ideas out there as my ideas and gracefully handling rejection if they aren't enthusiastically embraced. What sounds like the easiest thing to fix is now my main professional focus for 2012. What will you do this year to change the negative repeating pattern in your life? Join me in this ambitious goal!

Everybody Can Be Replaced

2012-01-16T18:50:00.000-05:00

I will admit it, I can't stop watching Dance Moms. If you've not seen the show, it is based on a dance instructor and her troupe of young girls who compete in contests and of course, their moms. Last week was the season premiere and in it the dance instructor repeatedly stated that everyone can be replaced. This hit me so hard and I spent a lot of time thinking about why. I concede, the dance world is probably more competitive than I could ever survive, and that type of realism is probably a good thing for future dancers to learn at an early age. However, my first boss out of college used to love to throw the "everyone can be replaced" in my face...repeatedly. And I have heard some version of it, more or less, from more than one boss since. So it got me thinking. It is probably true that people can be replaced. However, what does it say about the leader who uses that as a primary motivator? Does the phrase come from a place of fear? Either you are going to leave because this is a dead end job or if I'm not careful you'll take my job so I'd better put you in your place. Or does it come from a place of wishful thinking? Everyone can be replaced and I'd really like to start with you. Either way, it seems to indicate some deeper meaning that the leader is choosing to leave unspoken. So, next time you hear that glorious phrase...start sharpening up your resume. And if you hear it coming out of your own mouth, examine what is motivating you to say it. Let me know if there is another meaning I am missing.

Have you found your passion?

2012-01-02T21:35:00.000-05:00

"Purpose and passion are the internal drivers that determine employees' performance and their commitment to the organization, factors that ultimately have a very real impact on business results. ... Without [individual purpose, an employee's] journey meanders, their actions lack meaning, and their passion is left unexpressed in their work - a combination likely to leave them disengaged, dispirited, restless, ... or worse." The Purpose Linked Organization: How Passionate Leaders Inspire Winning Teams and Great Results by Alaina Love and Marc Cugnon.

We all know people who don't seem to have their heart in their work. And it shows. Some may not actively try to let everyone know how unhappy they are, but it doesn't work. No matter where you work, when you are passionate about what you do...it shows. And if you aren't...that shows too. How you got there doesn't matter, but it is how you are going to get out that is the key. The most important thing to do is to find out what drives you. What makes you feel like you are contributing. Is it something you can do in your current position? If not, where should you look for it?

The Purpose Linked Organization provides short stories of what disengagement looks like and how following passion makes a positive difference for real leaders. In addition, it provides a link to the Passion ProfilerTM and a short version of your Passion Archetype Cluster. The book provides a in-depth look at each archetype, including roles or functions in which the archetype thrives. As the new year begins, many people add finding a new job or progressing in their career path to their list of New Year's Resolutions. If you seem to be less than satisfied with what appears to be a great job, I encourage you to check out this book and take the Passion ProfilerTM. The profiler is eerily accurate and the book challenges you to look outside the box for ways to incorporate your passion into a meaninful career.

Coming in 2012!

2011-12-31T17:09:00.000-05:00

Join me in 2012 for a leadership discovery.

E-mail: Is the Person on the Other End an Idiot or Just Not You?

2011-02-08T16:34:00.001-05:00

It has been a long time since I posted and I am so sorry. The short story is I fell on Friday and sprained my ankle. I am fine but will be sporting a (not so) fashionable ankle brace for a couple of weeks.

Now, on to my thoughts for today. People seem to feel free to say things to people via e-mail that they wouldn't say in person (or in front of their boss or parents). In addition, this usually follows a quickly fired off response to an e-mail they haven't fully read.

Here's my plea for the day...next time you have the urge to fire off that scathing e-mail, don't hit send. Instead, walk away from the computer, grab a glass of water or walk around the office. Then, go back and read the original e-mail. Is there something you missed? Is it possible there is another interpretation besides the person who sent it is a complete idiot? Think of alternate possibilities. If you are unclear of the meaning, reply with a question to delve further and try to find a common (and respectful) understanding.

Why should you do this? Besides the obvious because it is respectful and polite, think about the time and effort you put into developing a professional image. One reactionary e-mail can do more damage than you know, even if you don't see it. A little time now can save a lot of repair work to your reputation later.

I know it is not easy and the reactions are often natural reactions. Practice pressing send immediately after every e-mail. If you develop the habit with e-mails that are easy, it will be a lot easier when you are faced with a more challenging situation.

Good luck and happy e-mailing!

Chinese New Year

2011-02-03T20:20:00.000-05:00

Happy Year of the Golden Rabbit. I love the sound of that - is sounds both prosperous and fertile...promising in all ways. So for those of us who have already broken our New Year's Resolutions and are looking for a fresh start, why not start today? We know it takes twenty-one days to form a new habit, what do you want to do? Sit down and make a plan. You don't need to do something at the same time every day, in fact, play around and find out what works best for you. Share your plan with someone who will help keep you accountable. Good luck!

Respecting an Individual's Investment

2011-02-02T17:00:00.000-05:00

How many times have you gotten truly invested in a project, either at work or at home, only to have it given to someone else. At that moment you wonder why you invested your time and effort and become less likely to do so in the future. Sometimes, the way our organizations operate, one person can have their investment "stolen" more than once. While reorganizations, realignments, and job descriptions make sense, we need to also make sure we are respecting the investment that our workers have put into something. Keeping them involved after the realignment is one way to work towards efficiencies and individual respect at the same time. It is a little fix but requires the acknowledgement that people are investing in their work and that should be respected.

Have you had your mental investment "stolen"? Have you been in a situation where it could have been but for a good leader who recognized your input? How do you routinely recognize the investment of those you work with?

We All Need Someone to Talk To

2011-02-01T21:36:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had a conversation with someone and afterwards (whether it was fun and easy or painful and hard) just felt so much better? I think that we all need someone to talk to. Things are easier to face when you say them out loud, when you talk to someone who feels the same way or has experienced the same thing, when you have the chance to explore options and ideas with another person. I had two experiences today that were very similar in that feeling but I experienced them both in two very different ways. I think either way, the value of the conversation in the big scheme of things was more than I could have imagined on my part, and I hope similar on the other people's parts.

Do you have one person you share everything with or do you have different go-to people for different areas of your life? Do you share easily or do you struggle to share and then wonder if you will live to regret sharing? Does it get easier to open up to new people or harder?

The Power of a Positive Person

2011-01-31T20:34:00.000-05:00

I've heard before that you can change the kind of day you're having through the power of positive thinking. Today, I experienced another side of the old adage. At work, an amazingly positive person made my day just a little brighter. I noticed that I laughed more throughout the day and hopefully brought a little laughter to others.

What can you do today to start a chain reaction of positive thoughts?

Behind Closed Doors

2011-01-30T15:48:00.000-05:00

Sorry for missing yesterday, I couldn't get my internet to work. I am back online today though!

For the past couple of days, I have been thinking. How much do you know about the people you work with everyday. So much conflict at work arises from jealously, she gets more face time with the big boss, he gets better work. I think if we knew more about the challenges that our co-workers face in their everyday lives, or how hard they work behind the scenes that we never see, we would be much less jealous. Too often people face personal crisis and challenge alone. Too often, the truly hard workers do it silently. Too often, we only see a fraction of what is going on with our coworkers, yet we make judgments based on that very small piece of the puzzle. Before you covet another's place in the world, take a closer look at what you think they have. Once you see the bigger picture, you may find that your world is not so bad and you may get along with them much better. In the meantime, remember that you are only privy to a small part of the story and withhold your jealously and judgement until you know more.

What piece of the bigger picture do you withhold from others? Is it a personal challenge you face at home but that influences all aspects of your life? Mentoring and coaching you do selflessly for others only to see them advance ahead of you? Are you the one that people want to be or do you long for a different place? Is there something you can share with others that will actually help them understand you? What would it take for you to be willing to share (or would you ever)? When you face conflict or an uncomfortable situation, look for a discrepancy in information first, it may be an easy fix.

Fridays

2011-01-28T22:26:00.000-05:00

Do you ever notice no matter how rough your week or how long your day is, when Friday close of business comes, you have a new energy. Is it a sense of accomplishment for what you've accomplished (making it through the week) or is it looking forward to two days off? I think that it is probably a little of both. That is how I feel today. With the crazy weather we had here, I worked from home a lot this week, but I worked about 50% more than I would have if I had gone into the office. So with the work week behind me and an evening with friends, a day of volunteering, and a day off in front of me, I left work Friday full of energy and happiness. If we could bottle that feeling, we would be millionaires. Until that time, happy Friday.

Personal Values

2011-01-27T20:35:00.000-05:00

I love when people are able to match their personal values to their work. It is easy to look at a list of values and say they are all very important to you, it is much harder to pick your top five. Then look at the top five and look at the way you spend the hours in your week. Do you allocate time to the most important things or are you waiting for that illusive "someday" to be able to devote your time to what you love. If your current job doesn't fit 100% within your core values look around you - what can you do within your job to feed your values. Aligning your daily tasks with your values is a halfway step that can often bring you more satisfaction in your job and often leads to innovate ideas and improvements.

Pick one thing that is important to you and find a way to increase the time you spend on it next week. How does it make you feel? Can you permanently incorporate the change?

Passion, Part 2

2011-01-26T20:50:00.000-05:00

As I watch American Idol, I am constantly amazed at some of the people who try out. Personally, I would never have the courage to do it and I know I cannot carry a tune in a bucket. (In Randy's words, "Sing in your car only...with the windows up.) So I watch those clips, you know the ones I am talking about, and I cringe. I actually hurt inside for the people on TV. But here's the thing, maybe they're not the best in their field, but they have passion for what they do. Honestly, if you told me today that I could be either the best in my field or have passion in what I do, I think I might choose passion. I think that level of commitment to something is truly admirable.

What aspect of life are you most passionate about. Do you let people know or do you keep it for yourself?

Those Days

2011-01-25T20:01:00.000-05:00

So, last night, I lost my cell phone, I worked at an alternate site today, didn't have my regular (way too many) diet cokes, tripped very ungracefully on the sidewalk at lunch in front of my coworkers, was late to a dinner with a friend, went to a meeting only to find out that my lack of phone made me miss that it was changed to a conference call, and had my cab driver take the really long way home. It was just one of those days. And I would do it all over again if I had to. Here is why...

I was just a little off kilter all day, which made me uneasy, which made me THINK first and speak/act later, which made me notice some things I might not have noticed before, and because of the "detours" I got to see and chat with people I would have missed otherwise. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel the need to have "those days" every day, but today did have a silver lining and I am grateful for it.

Next time you have one of those days, sit back and approach something the opposite of the way you normally would. What did you learn, what can you apply when things are going well?

A $2 Stuffed Pig

2011-01-24T21:36:00.000-05:00

As I sit here watching my dog play with a $2 stuffed pig a friend bought for him almost two years ago, I realize that so often we spend money on things we think are important (like all the other stuffed animals we have bought him to try to replace the pig when it got torn) or as a reward or present (for a birthday or holiday). In reality, the best $2 expenditure was one no one really saw coming and time spent washing it or sewing tears are much better than buying something new. No matter what new toy he gets, when it comes time to go to bed, all he wants is the pig. When I wash it, he sits in front of the washing machine until it is done. As leaders, how often do we try to give people something (like a new title, new project, or new incentive) that means absolutely nothing to them? It is important to really get to know the people you are working with, find out what is important to them, and learn to adjust when, at some point, you realize, all they really want, is the equivalent of my dog's $2 pig.

Have a good week!

Sometimes You Just Need to Have Fun

2011-01-23T20:34:00.000-05:00

Today, I took the day off, went to a silly movie, and just generally had fun. And I am glad. So many of us go and go and go to the point that we wear ourselves ragged. When you take time to stop and just enjoy life, you remember why you do it. This coming week will border on crazy with all of the things I have scheduled. Once again, when it is over, I will vow to limit the things I schedule and hopefully will be good for more than the month I lasted this past attempt. I constantly struggle with the need to balance working hard and living life. This week will not be one of my stellar examples of balance, but it will help me recommit to achieving balance.

What do you do to have fun? How do you know when it is time to relax? Do you have to justify relaxation to yourself?

Goals and Self Management

2011-01-22T11:41:00.000-05:00

When you are working on setting goals, do you work on financial, work, home, everything at once? How do you balance and organize multiple projects simultaneously. The key is probably organization and time management. For me, the best way to organize projects is to break things down into manageable pieces (with individual deadlines). Where I struggle is keeping track of everything I am working on. I read an article that said to put actual tasks in your calendar on individual days (rather than weeks). That just didn't work for me. It may have been a lack of acknowledgement of how long items will take or it may have been a penchant for procrastination. Either way, it didn't work for me. My planner calendar shows a week at a time (with Sunday as the last day) so I am going to try to write things on Sundays (I try very hard not to schedule anything on Sundays) so that during the week I can eliminate the tasks without committing to doing so on a specific day.

I've decided that the first twenty-one days went so well, I'm going to keep up the daily blogging. After all it is now a habit and one I enjoy very much. Let me know how you manage your progress to your own goals!

21 Days Complete

2011-01-21T21:26:00.000-05:00

So I accomplished one of my two twenty-one day challenges. I will start another back at the gym, but for now, one of two is a success. I think my friend had it right, if you do something every day for twenty-one days in a row, you can build a new habit. Now to incorporate this new knowledge into my everyday life and find a focus for the next twenty-one days of blogs... Until then, have an amazing Friday night!

Today is the Hardest Day

2011-01-20T20:36:00.000-05:00

Up until today, I've had something to write about every day on this little experiment. I've actually come to look forward to it. And now tonight, I am sitting here wracking my brain trying to figure out what to write and am drawing a complete blank. So I thought to myself, what day am I on, how many more days do I have to go? Well, I started this little challenge, to write every day for twenty-one days in a row, exactly twenty days ago. The theory was, that if you did something twenty-one days in a row, it would become habit. While I may have writers block, the fact that I sat here for half an hour trying to figure out what to write is a good indication that I am well on my way to forming a new habit, and for tonight, that is enough for me.

Losing Our Technological Edge

2011-01-19T21:26:00.000-05:00

As a Gen Xer entering the workforce twenty years ago, we were told that we were special because we had "that technology thing" down. I don't know about the rest of you, but I've tried to keep up. And I thought I was doing a good job. Our twentieth high school reunion, after all, was advertised and documented on Facebook. When I started working with Millennials a few years ago, I realized that the technological edge was definitely with them. I'm not too proud to learn everything I can from them, but I'm also not conceited enough to think I'll ever come close to matching them. So you can imagine my utter shock (and serious ego bruising) today when I asked my seventy-year old mother if she knew how to find something specific she had mentioned and she nonchalantly responded "can't you just Google it?" Okay, now I am very proud that she knows what Google is and how to use it, but if she knows that (and yes she has a Facebook page although she rarely updates it), it means my generation has not only lost the edge to the new generation, but the older generations are catching up to us as well! I don't know about you, but this is definitely something I need to ponder.

What is your favorite example of multi-generational technology use?

Spreadsheets Make My Eyes Cross

2011-01-18T19:06:00.000-05:00

So we talked yesterday about those things you are just meant to do and that feeling when you're doing it. The exact opposite, for me, is working with spreadsheets. I like putting them together to be able to quickly tell a story, but the repetitive data entry part makes my eyes cross. The only reason I bring it up, is when you have those things you know you hate to do and that are far outside your preference, remember to balance them with something that is more in your zone. It will reduce your overall stress and make you look forward to finishing the dreaded task.

You Know When it is Right

2011-01-17T20:19:00.000-05:00

Sometimes we run ourselves ragged trying to fit in or trying to meet new people or trying to do the "right" things to advance. It can easily get to the point where you don't really know what you want from life. If you somehow slow down or reflect on what you want you can be shocked at how many years you have been seemingly following someone else's plan. But then, when you start listening to yourself and following your own path, it may not seem any better and then you really question your place. And then one day, when you're least expecting it, your're working towards a goal and in the middle you realize you are doing what you are meant to do. When those times come, relish in it and use it to power your efforts the next time it seems as if no one notices you.

A New Look at an Old Favorite...

2011-01-16T20:43:00.000-05:00

Today I learned that the method my best friend's mom used to save money thirty years ago still works...coupons. I don't mean buying something you don't want or need because you have a coupon. I mean clipping coupons and tracking sales at the stores you frequent (for me, Harris Teeter, Target, and CVS) and getting the products you use over and over at the best price possible. Saving money in ways like this is like getting an untaxed raise! As a federal employee, I don't get a raise this year or next and my bills have not declared a similar freeze so anything that helps reduce costs is a huge bonus for me.

How do you reduce costs when you need to save up for something new?

Life After 40

2011-01-15T08:59:00.000-05:00

My 40th birthday is quickly approaching so I was intrigued by this segment on the Today show this morning. My favorite part? Barbara Hanna Grufferman, Author of the Best of Everything After 50. She encouraged women to make time for themselves, to stay current but embrace their age, and to truly enjoy where they are in life. Interestingly, she mentioned don't repeat the mistakes we've made earlier in life. Time seems to fly and I often catch myself wishing I could start over. I like the idea of embracing where I am now and trying to move forward more positively.

Do you have special tricks to help you make peace with your mistakes, forgive yourself, and move forward with confidence?

Be a Problem Solver

2011-01-14T21:43:00.000-05:00

Today I observed someone's approach to a problem and noticed their first instinct was to find someone to blame. From an outside perspective it seemed obvious that the most important thing that was needed was a solution and that nobody really cared who was responsible for the problem. To make matters worse, the person actually created more of a hassle for everyone involved by acting defensive. It made me wonder, why did they think it was so important to assign blame and why were they so blind to the very obvious and very simple solutions to the problem? Some people seem to just instinctively jump into problem solving mode. Are there times when that is not the best route? Are there times when even those people are emotionally involved that they miss the opportunity and go for the easy blame? Are there ways we can practice this skill so in times of stress we instinctively problem solve?

Not Enough Hours in the Day

2011-01-13T21:54:00.000-05:00

My favorite thing to do while commuting to and from work is to read through twitter posts. I have the Seesmic app on my blackberry so it remembers where I left off and I can usually go though a few hours worth of posts during each commute. (Just for clarification, I use public transportation and do not tweet while driving.) I try to retweet or quote the good things I see (feel free to follow me at @straserendipity if you want to see what I'm seeing). Yesterday @CindyBillington tweeted "Plan your work and work your plan." This is going to be my mantra for this year because I am so easily distracted. I mean seriously. So this weekend is going to be my planning weekend. From this point forward with regard to scheduling: I vow to seriously question whether what I am putting on my schedule is part of my plan and to come up with some solid goals for this year.

How do you move your plan forward? How often do you reevaluate your plan?

Rewriting

2011-01-12T21:20:00.000-05:00

I have written and deleted two blogs already tonight. One was too personal and one had too many open questions that I want to research to be able to provides solutions as well as identifying problems. That is all well and good but it still leaves me without a blog post. Everything I've read says that you should write at the same time every day to establish a pattern. I've been writing at the end of the day, but I think I might want to start writing a little earlier so that I have time to research when a question comes up.

I'll try a new time tomorrow, but until then, feel free to send me your best networking tips and your biggest networking pet peeves.

Have a good Thursday if you're reading this then!

Snow

2011-01-11T22:13:00.000-05:00

I spent today hoping that crazy "Snow Hole" that settled itself over Washington, DC during the last snow storm would be back. Or, in the alternative, that it would be cold enough to just plain snow instead of sleeting and icing. Sure, I love to sit inside at my desk and watch the big snowflakes float around. What I don't love, is trying to get from here to there and back again in the middle of it all. As I look outside, I see a layer of white that makes me think the "Snow Hole" missed us. If you are local, or in the path of the snow, drive safe. Better yet, stay inside where it is nice and warm.

Learn From My Mistakes

2011-01-10T23:19:00.000-05:00

I remember my mother constantly telling me that she wanted me to learn from her mistakes. As a kid, I naturally assumed that meant she didn't want me to have as much fun as she had when she was young. We rarely hear managers or co-workers say, don't make the same mistake I did. I wonder why that is? It certainly isn't because we never make mistakes at work. Is it because we don't want people to know the mistakes we made? I don't know about your workplace, but I'm betting that people know more than they let on. There is even a leadership ideal out there that we need to allow our subordinates to fail forward. But if we never use our own mistakes as teaching tools, are we really giving our subordinates the freedom to fail or are we just setting them up for failure. I learned today, that sometimes the only thing you can say to another person is I know how you feel and my only advice, unsolicited as it is, is don't do what I did because it failed me in this way. It may not put you on the fast track to CEO, but it will make you a better peer mentor.

Hope your Tuesday is a good one!

Are You Watching TV?

2011-01-09T22:23:00.000-05:00

Seriously, one of my favorite shows on TV right now is Undercover Boss. Tonight's episode featured the President of Uni First going undercover in various plants across the country to work on the floor. I delivered on what I've come to expect from all the episodes: it let's the boss see and hear things he/she never would on an official visit, it exposes those under-appreciated yet very hard working employees and gives them a very public thank you, and it provides amazing leadership lessons. Tonight's lesson was actually pointed out on two of the stops: the best made designs/plans/processes can be approved by asking the people who will be doing it everyday. In one case, the employee had already worked with a maintenance crew to incorporate her design ideas and it was saving the company an estimated 30-60 minutes a day. In the second, the President decided to send a crew down to work with the employee who pointed out the flaws. If you aren't watching this show, look for it on Netflix or your cable's OnDemand. It is definitely worth an hour of your time and I promise you'll learn something that can be incorporated into your working life.

Good Marketing

2011-01-08T21:55:00.000-05:00

Today we spent a pleasant and relaxing day cleaning, cooking, and watching tv. As a joke I stopped it on Dogs 101 because our dog gets so excited when it was on. Of course, I didn't then have the heart to switch the channel on him. Now we have an adorable, 6 year-old dog who was born on my boyfriend's farm. We know that our dog's father was a rather large chihuahua and his mother was an Australian Shepard. We make lots of jokes about his parentage, but usually just call him a mixed breed. In DC, you sometimes need to say that with an apologetic tone as there are many pure breeds in the area. Today's Dogs 101 was on designer breeds, the new IT dogs like labradoodles, puggles, chiweenies to name a few. Each designer breed starts from mixing a pure breed parent of each type. Wait, isn't that a mixed breed???? After much laughter around our house, we have decided to proudly announce our dog's breed as Chaussie. And it just made me think, isn't it all about good marketing? So next time you find yourself explaining a less-than-heroic job on your resume during an interview, remember my adorable Chaussie. Don't lie or misrepresent your qualifications, just point out the unique combination of skills it allows you to bring to the new position.

Authenticity versus Progress

2011-01-07T21:59:00.000-05:00

Today I learned that some days, you just have to do your best. I believe that if I have good intentions, even if I don't see immediate results, good will come from it. I thought that if I put myself on the right path, and believed in it enough, and deserved it enough, things would turnaround and I would see it. When faced with a stumbling block, I wondered, is this my old luck showing its face? Is this something that if I work harder can be overcome? Or is this a detour that will shape the next path I take? I don't know. What I do know, is that I am trying my hardest to improve myself, to learn more, and to make the things I touch better. If it turns out that at the end of this year, nothing has changed in my life, I will be able to say that I did my best and I am proud of the efforts I made, I will consider the year a success.

I hope you all had a productive week and plan to take time for yourself this weekend. Let me know what you're doing to recharge and what your goals for next week are!

Meditation - Learning a new skill

2011-01-06T20:31:00.000-05:00

I tried guided meditation in a group for the first time today and I am very intrigued. It is something I have been interested in for over two years now but reading a book really didn't help me and I couldn't figure out how to record myself saying things that would help me. So I asked a friend if I could go to a half-hour session with her and she graciously invited me. I loved the process and if there was any day I needed it, it was today. I was able to follow for a while but I will admit to starting to lose focus about six minutes before the session ended. (I know it was about six minutes because the only way I could keep my mind from wandering too far was to start counting and I made it to 360.) Overall, I think that is a pretty good start for a first timer. I am looking forward to going back next week and to downloading something off of iTunes to use in the meantime. I'm not sure if that officially counts as what I learned today (since I am still learning) but I think it does!

How comfortable are you with seeking out opportunities to try something new?

Day Five - Don't Take No For an Answer

2011-01-05T19:46:00.000-05:00

Today I learned that I tend to take no as an answer and give up. I also learned the value of not doing so. When encountered with "no" my friend encouraged me to ask "what do I have to do to move this to a yes?" and keep searching for options until you do. While the end result may not be exactly what you started with, you are able to move ideas into actions and that is more valuable in the long run.

I noticed today that it was really hard to keep up with the gym/workout portion of my challenge, ironically, the blogging part was really easy. Earlier today, in a fit of energy and cockiness, I informed my boyfriend that I was going to do 4 miles on the treadmill today. Now my minimum each day has been 2.5 and the most I've done has been 3.5. Since I'm walking, this usually takes at least 45 minutes to complete. Seriously, what was I thinking? So I went to the gym and twenty minutes into my workout I decided that if I could make it to 2.5 miles without collapsing I would consider it a miracle. I played my favorite music and made sure the songs had a fast beat. Around the thirty minute mark I started to think I might make it to 2.5 miles. And then at 3.25 I decided to end with a specific song as reward but as I was searching through the playlist I kept saying "and that one, and that one, and that one." I listened to them all and finished at 4.25 miles (and over 77 minutes)! I am now showered, and exhausted, and hungry...and so proud of myself. I'm starting to think this process might actually result in some new (good) habits! Are you with me? How are you progressing? How do you keep yourself going when you just want to stop?

Do Over

2011-01-04T22:17:00.000-05:00

As I saw people for the first time in 2011 I noticed how excited everyone is for a new year. If last year was good, you are hoping for more of the same. If last year was bad, you are happy to put it behind you and start over. As I thought about that, it occurred to me that every day we have the chance to start over. You can choose to continue what worked well the day before and change what didn't.

A Little Wisdom from Dr. Phil

2011-01-03T19:51:00.000-05:00

What did I learn today? Today was you are not the boss of me day on Dr. Phil and he theorized that people are overly controlling are usually doing so when internally they are spinning out of control. It was like a light going on and yes I am willing to admit when I am most controlling on the outside, I am most unsettled on the inside. So not a huge revelation, but sometimes just identifying the problem can help a lot.

That Little Extra

2011-01-02T18:45:00.000-05:00

Day 2 - What I learned today...

There's an old saying, the difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra. Anyone who's walked through the gates at Walt Disney World knows they know what that little extra is. I'm currently reading Lee Cockerell's book Creating Magic.

Lee is a former Executive Vice President of Operations for the Walt Disney World Resort. Lee led a team of over 40,000 cast members who daily made dreams come true. The first story he tells in the book is about the summer of 2004 when three major hurricanes hit the park in just over a month. Yes, they had to shut down during the storm. I'm as big of a Disney nut as you'll find and even I wouldn't go out in 105 mile an hour winds. What amazed me in the story, was how everyone worked together to secure the park for the coming storm. (You should know that when I read this I picture Snow White and the Dwarves in full costume nailing plywood over the windows of the castle.) After the storm hit, they were able to clean the park and open the next day on time. He talks of cast members who had to have been stressed, exhausted, and quite frankly worried about their own homes and families working together to clean up behind the scenes while entertaining guests at the hotels. In my head, I picture families who save and plan for a year or more to make that once in a lifetime trip to Walt Disney World only to get there just as a hurricane hits. Kids so close to the magic they can taste it and would probably go out in the 105 mile an hour winds if their parents allowed. What could end up as a nightmare vacation, saved because Mickey and Minnie made an extra round in the hotel during the rain and because the park opened on time the next day. He goes on to tell how they also helped their community and cast members families recover from the storm and that is an even better story (check it out in his book!).

What struck me was that a man who held this amazing leadership position for so many years started his leadership book with one of the handful of days that the park had to close. He quickly clarified that the point of the whole story was to show that, "[t]he real test [of your leadership principles] comes when a crisis hits..." In good times, Mr. Cockerell had plenty of trends to track and letters to read from customers to know what was working and what could stand to be tweaked. But at a time when nature took over and every single cast member had to make on-the-spot decisions they managed to work together and bring each other through the other side. I am guessing that it is the absolute nightmare of leaders the world around and his team, his cast, performed beautifully. Of course, it was the perfect story with which to start his book. I am hooked and can't wait to keep reading.

Today I learned many things, but most importantly, I learned that when you have the least control is when your true leadership style (and effectiveness) shines through. Those who have good systems, good training, and people working towards a common mission in place in a crisis will pull through the quickest. It is certainly a lofty standard, but obviously well worth the effort.

20 Days to Go

2011-01-01T11:45:00.000-05:00

A dear friend, Phyllis Serbes of Many Creative Gifts,was telling me last week that it only takes 21 days to put a new habit in place. I don't know about you, but 21 days sounds a lot less intimidating than committing to do something for the whole year. I've decided to take her up on the challenge and today is as good as any to start. I hope you'll join me - what do you want to change!

I have two things I'm starting today. I know, don't overwhelm by trying to start too many things at once, but I think (hope) I can manage two. The first is blogging, that is right 21 posts in 21 days. Each day I will share with you day something I've learned. I believe that learning is a lifelong activity and there are opportunities every day if you just open your eyes, so I'll prove it to you.

Secondly, I'm going to the gym. Seriously, I am one of those people that cannot lose weight by simply dieting. The only time in my life I have been able to successfully lose and maintain a healthy weight I was walking anywhere from 4-10 miles a day. (That is another story for another time.) For now, I am starting out of shape and realistically just expecting to get the gym and try. (I wore a pedometer for a few weeks in December and I average 4,000 steps a day...far below the recommended 10,000.)

Today, my two goals are intersecting because at the gym this morning (45 minutes/2.5 miles if we are keeping track, including the walk across the street to the gym and back 5809 steps), I discovered that the speed of the music I am listening to on my iPod can actually change my feeling/energy/determination while I am on the treadmill. I was dragging and ready to call it a day when I hit 1.5 miles and then Poison's Fallen Angel came on and helped me boost my energy enough to go just a little further. I kept the music upbeat and managed to walk another mile. As I find songs, I'll put together my treadmill playlist on a list here. Please feel free to send in your suggestions!

Happy New Year to you all! May 2011 bring the beginning of something special in your life!

Find Your Passion

2010-09-08T22:07:00.000-04:00

Have you ever seen someone actually light up when they discuss something? You probably notice it most often when you ask someone about their child. Their eyes sparkle and you are engaged whether you've met the child or not. It is because the person is speaking about their passion and they are more persuasive and engaging because of it.

I attended a program last night with Robin Gerber, author of Leadership the Eleanor Roosevelt Way, and I was struck at once by two separate instances of how following one's passion can guide your work.

The first example was in the story of how Eleanor found her passion working to improve the lot of others. The second was in how Robin found her passion writing about Eleanor.

I learned to respect Eleanor Roosevelt's life and work, because she was an amazing woman with every opportunity and excuse to live it up without regard to consequences. And yet, through it all, she found a way to contribute to the world and to give her life meaning.

I also learned to look around me for people who are contributing to the world now by following their passion. Do you know someone who is doing this? What words would you use to describe them when they are in that mode (engaged, creative, energetic, passionate, makes me want to join!)? How would it make you feel to have someone use those words to describe you? Now, what makes your eyes sparkle and how can you spend more of your life working in that area?

No Cookie Cutters Needed

2010-06-22T14:32:00.000-04:00

Here is my response to a great blog post on the Washington Post.com. Once I figure out how, I will post the comment on that site. Until then, enjoy.

Some people know exactly what career they want from childhood. Is it easier to help those people in life and to help them progress through a productive career? Obviously. Most of us are more like you Misti and need to explore our options. That usually means a bit of mentor and career trial and error along the way.

Many people try to “help” mentees by leading them down the path that made them successful and indoctrinating the mentee into the mentor’s world. They assume, this worked for me, it will work for you. While this may be a great process for making cookies, it usually doesn’t work for developing people. In reality, it usually results in an ended relationship (this isn’t working for me) or the protégé will follow the mentor’s advice and pretend to be engaged in the process only to find they are not fulfilled by the process or engaged in the work. As a contrast, the best mentors I have had, asked me questions that helped me find my own path. This is much harder for both parties, but it is more productive in the end.

When I was applying for college, I was picking from majors about which I had no real knowledge. I had been in Junior Achievement for three years so I declared Business as my major. I attended a liberal arts university (Truman State University) so I “had” to take all those other classes. Those classes opened my eyes to more areas of interests and jobs in the world than I could have ever imagined. Within a few years, I became a political science major who was going to change the world (and never ever go to law school). I moved to Washington, DC after receiving my undergraduate degree and worked in a couple of non-profits that I believed really could change the world. I loved the passion with which the people I worked approached the mission of the organizations. However, I soon found out that to advance in DC, I needed another degree. I looked seriously at the Masters in Public Administration, the Masters in Business Administration, and the Juris Doctorate. I went to law school because I thought it seemed challenging. (Note to all recent graduates out there, this is the worst reason in the world to go to law school.) I was challenged, and I felt like I had accomplished something significant when I graduated. I examined public and private job opportunities and chose to enter the world of public service (still trying to save the world). With more than ten years of practice, I can honestly say, there is no better place to start a legal career if you value the ability to learn and the (sometimes constant) search for what is the “right” answer instead of “how can we win”. That being said, I am still learning completely new things and I (like many of my colleagues) have varied interests that often equate to a second, part-time career.

I still struggle with people who believe that there is an expected career progression in my field and if I am not at a certain place on it, I am not “good enough.” Inside, though, I realize that my diverse skills honed by a lifetime of learning are worth more to me than a manager title ever would be. I now direct my career and judge it against my own standards (am I learning something new, am I helping other people, am I challenged) rather than trying to fit into the cookie cutter mold that people have deemed proper. I value the mentors I have had along the way who asked those probing questions they never really expected to hear the answer to, they only wanted me to think about for myself. In truth, those are the questions I go to when I have to make a decision. Things like, how do you want this experience to change you? I have learned (by flat out asking) that the mentors who reach out to mentees in this way, actually feel that they develop their own interpersonal skills as well.

Lost in Translation - Myers Briggs Type Indicator

2010-05-20T20:39:00.000-04:00

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is based on the work of Swiss psychiatrist Carl G. Jung. Jung observed that people have inborn preferences for gathering information and making decisions and that these preferences guide an individual’s behavior. The mother/daughter team of Katherine Cook Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers expanded on Jung’s theories and created an assessment to make the combined work accessible to all individuals. Today, the assessment is used by most Fortune 100 companies and over two million people worldwide, annually. The assessment identifies an individual’s inborn preferences on four dichotomous scales: where you focus your energy, how you prefer to take in information, how you make decisions, and how you deal with the outer world. There are no “good” and “bad” types. Rather, type is best used to understand other people, improve communication, and develop individual skills.

Do you ever feel like you speak a different language than your co-worker, subordinate, or supervisor? Through the work of Myers and Briggs, we know that people take in information (the S-N dichotomy) and make decisions (the T-F dichotomy) in different ways. But many days, it can leave us feeling like we're lost in a foreign country.

Try this experiment: write down something that happened during the day in a short paragraph. Read back over it. Is it filled with specific details or context? Chances are, your preference is obvious from the paragraph you wrote down. Now, put yourselves in the shoes of someone with the opposite preference (or think of a time someone has told you a story and concentrated on the opposite preference). If we aren't getting the information we need, our minds wander (at best) and we might conclude the person speaking doesn't know what they're talking about (at worst). Ideally, we all seek to give our boss the information he or she needs quickly and concisely. If you consistently don't do that, it could have career ending ramifications.

Okay, so now that you are aware of the problem, what can you do to fix it? The first step is identifying when miscommunications are caused by different preference needs. This takes practice. I recommend writing down difficult situations in a journal as soon as possible and looking for preference-related reasons behind them. The next step is verbalizing the source of the miscommunication and looking for a way to reach common ground. The ideal long-term solution is learning to incorporate both sides of the preference dichotomies into your presentations (while keeping it concise).

While this seems like a lot of work, learning to "translate" between the dichotomy preferences is one of the easiest ways to reduce co-worker conflict. Remember to recognize that neither preference is "right." The goal is to develop your skill on both sides of each dichotomy.

Challenge: Identify one person at work who you think takes in information differently than you do. As them how they approach a routine task or assignment. Are there steps you skip? Would your work be more complete if you adopted them?

Words Have Meanings

2010-05-18T20:03:00.000-04:00

Have you ever noticed that the same word can generate very different reactions from different people? Every person has their own lens through which they view the world. It is crafted from their personal preferences, the time and culture in which they were raised, and their personal life experiences. We can study personality type, generations theory, active listening, and coaching, but the fact of the matter is, at some point, a communication disconnect will arise because one person uses a word in a conversation that has completely different meanings
or connotations to the two people involved. While this may seem easy to fix by looking the word up in the dictionary to find out who is right, I feel this only deepens the defensive positions of the two individuals involved in the potential conflict.

This happened to me last week when a friend and colleague said she was trying to break through my righteous barrier. Through my lens, regardless of whether I am right or wrong, this was a very offensive insult. My gut reaction was honestly to get up and walk out of the meeting, but I didn't. At the time I knew that I was having an emotional reaction and my friend was explaining her coaching process with a word that meant no more than pushing past the stock answers and going deeper. Did that make it hurt me any less? Nope, I still get that sucker punch feeling four days later just thinking about it. However, I am sincerely glad that I didn't let an emotional reaction ruin a friendship and working relationship over something as small as the meaning of a word.

So what is the point here? Learn to recognize when you are attaching meanings to words in a conversation and when you are inferring something (especially an attitude or judgment) that may not be there. If you aren't sure what a person means, ask them for clarification rather than reacting emotionally. Try not to let the clarification devolve into a who is right and who is wrong about the definition of the word, instead focus on arriving at a common understanding.

Receiving Feedback

2010-04-20T21:06:00.000-04:00

We've all read lots of books and articles on giving feedback, but what is the best way to receive feedback? My default response used to be to explain my position, show how I do what the person is asking, or show how I wanted to but someone else prevented me. If I am caught off guard or stressed, these are still my gut instincts. However, I have learned two much more constructive ways to respond to feedback that I strive to use more often. The first started as I became more self-aware and felt comfortable and safe acknowledging and working on my weaknesses. If someone points something I am aware of and I feel safe (i.e., it is pointed out in a private forum versus a public forum) the best thing I can do is say "I know, do you have any suggestions or advice that will help me?" If someone has the courage to step out of their comfort zone to point out a way I can improve, it is a safe bet they've thought about it beforehand. The second way to handle feedback, especially if you are not aware of the problem, is to ask if you can have time to think about it and come back with questions. Use the time to examine your actions objectively and then ask for advice on how to fix it. Underlying this process is a need for self-awareness. Without it, constructive feedback can not truly be constructive.

Letting go...yes, this is work related

2010-03-13T14:36:00.000-05:00

Two different conversations with two amazing and insightful women this week helped me realize why I am having trouble blogging and how to fix it. (Thank you Phyllis Serbes and Misti Burmeister!) Funny thing is, they probably have no clue they also helped me identify one trait that holds me back time after time. (Thanks now does not seem enough.) So what is this magic recipe for blogging (and professional) success? The one that took me 39 years to learn? Don't demand perfection.

Yes, I have heard it before. But for some reason, hearing it this week from two women I admire and respect in relation to blogging crystallized the bigger picture (and pattern) in my mind. Here's my story, let me know what you think. I started this blog in November because I feel like I have something to contribute to the study of leadership. I keep a handwritten journal of my thoughts and I am constantly making notes, connecting ideas, and citing great sources. My research and learning productivity has been through the roof. My blog, on the other hand, is stuck in hibernation. This week Phyllis brought her laptop to lunch and showed me how to link books to my blog so I can share all the resources I've found through my research. That was Wednesday. You might notice there are no book links on my blog before today. (Please note that I have conquered this task and linked Misti's From Boomers To Bloggers book to this post. If you want a great perspective on generational issues in the workplace, please check it out.) Phyllis told me as she we were looking at her blog (linked above, amazing, you want to follow her), that one of her hurdles was just hitting the send button and not fretting so much over making it perfect. This definitely struck a chord.

So Thursday, I had lunch with Misti. I mentioned my block and she gave me a great writing exercise/challenge to try. Sit down and write for fifteen minutes. (Easy, right.) Not so fast, during that time, you cannot change anything. No editing for grammar, no deleting rambling irrelevant phrases, and no correcting spelling. I couldn't wait to try it...after work, on a night I didn't have a meeting or an American Idol results show to watch. Then inspiration randomly hit while I was on the bus on the way to work on Friday. The only thing I could get to was my phone. The "A" key on my phone doesn't work about 75% of the time so it wasn't long before I started hitting the delete key to correct something. As my frustration with myself increased, I realized this was an e-mail to myself. Who cares about spelling? As I let go, the writing started flowing. I sent four e-mails to myself during that twenty-five minute commute. The spelling and the grammar were atrocious. But I captured an idea that has been brewing for a few weeks now. In twenty-five minutes on a bus and subway train. I was able to work with my notes later and develop the ideas further and was a little in awe of the entire process.

So I thought about what Phyllis and Misti taught me this week about blogging and writing and realized that instinctively I wait until something is perfect (or more likely hitting up against a deadline I can't change) to commit and share. Since I'm always learning and connecting, nothing ever makes it to "finished" or "perfect." As a result, I don't give myself credit for the things I actually finished because I know they could have been better if I'd spent more time. But every now and then, when I see my work reflected in someone else's eyes, I realize that work I discredited for not being finished or perfect was good. That made me think about what else Misti had said at lunch, and I realized that I hold others to the same insane standard I hold myself. Wait a minute, really? I try to go out of my way to be understanding of people's differences - I teach it to other people for goodness sake. Hmmm. Is that why my boyfriend is not allowed to load the dishwasher because he doesn't know exactly which order to place the plates, the bowls, and the pans? Or why I shy away from working in groups because it is easier to just do it myself? Or why I prefer to teach leadership skills instead of seeking out leadership responsibilities?

So as of today, I'm letting go of my need for unobtainable perfection from myself and others. This is a learning process, but I can honestly say, the simple act of overcoming my writer's block has opened up greater opportunities for personal growth and leadership development than I could have ever imagined.

Developing on the run

2010-01-24T19:44:00.000-05:00

Tip of the week: multitask your professional development. I recently found the Center for Creative Leadership's podcasts on iTunes U. If you prefer, you can get there on the computer via the link above. What I love about loading them on my iPod though is the ability to use my commute time for professional development. The podcasts are relatively short pieces that can be crammed into even the shortest commute. Wondering where to start? I recommend "How to Grow as a Leader," a great piece on developmental assignments.

Two Types of Mentors

2010-01-18T22:14:00.001-05:00

Penn State's Academic Advising Journal defines mentor as "a wise and trusted counselor or teacher." It is rooted in Greek mythology, Mentor was Odysseus's trusted counselor, under whose disguise Athena became the guardian and teacher of Telemachus.

Today, when we think of mentors we think of one of two things: (1) a person who has added quality to your life through sheer good will, or (2) a person assigned as a part of an educational or work program whose job it is to show you how things are done. I’ll use a shorthand for referring to the two types (1) an “organic” mentor and (2) an “assigned” mentor. If you are very lucky, you may get a two-for-one, but don’t worry if you don’t. Life is full of both types and you can learn from both. I’ll write more about strategies for working with mentors in the future.

If you are lucky enough to find a person you want to emulate, ask them to be your mentor, this will be your “organic” mentor. Tell them what you want to learn and listen to what they have to say. If they are good, they won’t always tell you what you want to hear. If they are really good, they’ll ask you questions that lead you to learn the hard answers for yourself. Chances are you’ll have lots of “real” mentors throughout your career and life. Remember to thank them for what they’ve given you, they need reassurance too. Most importantly, don’t forget to emulate their most important lesson, helping others along the way.

If you have an “assigned” mentor through an educational or work program, you’re probably dealing with something different. It is not realistic from a supply and demand perspective to hope that each mentor and protégé assigned will have that long-lasting connection that you get from an “organic” mentor. There is probably a specific task they are supposed to help you with (getting into a program, learning the ropes of a new program or job, deciding what to do after a program, or mapping your career). Hopefully they’ve been trained with a basic coaching model. Even if they have been trained, they may still describe their job as “to indoctrinate you.” Don’t run screaming the other way, yet. Remember, this is not the “organic” mentor you picked to model and emulate. This person is there for a specific purpose and you will be well served to learn from them. The more you can learn about your assigned mentor, the more you can tailor your questions to their strengths and those qualities or skills that you find in them and want to learn.

Many people who receive an “assigned” mentor through a program find that they don’t quite mesh with them. Obviously, if there is a serious conflict you can always ask to be assigned to a different mentor. However, if you separate the two types of mentors in your mind, you might find that working with the “assigned” mentor opened up questions in your mind that may be beyond the scope of the relationship with the “assigned” mentor or that the “assigned” mentor is not equipped to address. As an alternative to asking a for a new “assigned” mentor, consider searching out an “organic” mentor who can better address your needs and who will likely outlast the formal program.

Remember, “assigned” mentors should never replace “organic” mentors, they merely supplement them. Organic mentors come into your life through random twists of fate and you must reach out to them to learn from them. Assigned mentors come into your life at a specific time and are there for a purpose. As with any relationship, you get out of a mentoring partnership what you put into it. You can learn as much from an “assigned” mentor as an “organic” mentor if you are deliberate about the process.

What do you want this year?

2010-01-03T10:06:00.002-05:00

I am inspired by two friends who, in the last month, have secured new and better work opportunities for themselves. Neither are known for constantly selling themselves to their superiors, but they stepped outside of their comfort zone and asked for something they wanted. I am so excited for and proud of them!

So, what is it that you want in 2010? I challenge you to learn from my two friends. Look at what is out there (and what may be coming down the line), determine what aligns with your skills and talents, and go to the source to show them why you are the best person to get the job done.

In the meantime, have a happy and prosperous new year!

Where does leadership come from?

2009-12-08T21:56:00.003-05:00

Are leaders born or created? We've all seen the spark of natural leadership in someone. Looking at those people we think that they have it easy. The fact of the matter is, leadership is just like football, ballroom dancing, or acting. The people who have the natural talent can sometimes fall behind those with less talent but more commitment to old-fashioned hard work. True leaders combine natural talent with personal reflection, continued study, and practice.

Over the past year, I began the process of studying leadership. My path is just beginning but I'm hoping you'll come with me. I'll be looking at some of the current books and theories in the marketplace. I would love to hear your suggestions and your stories of places you've seen great leadership in action - remember to keep them anonymous. Thank you for joining me on this journey!

Now on Twitter!

2009-11-25T22:01:00.000-05:00